I have anxiety. To be exact, I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety with agoraphobia. Yes, agoraphobia is the one where people don’t leave their homes, but mine isn’t that bad. I get anxious around people and generally prefer to be by myself or with C or with a small group of friends. It drives people crazy that I seem to not want to spend time with them, but it can just get overwhelming for me with working with people all day. Well, honestly, even when I don't work with people all day it gets overwhelming. It got super bad when I worked at Wal Mart, but is a lot better now.
I make tons of plans and make lots of goals for my life …. And don’t follow through. Womp, womp. Yup, I’m one of those people who can’t seem to get their shit together. The “problem” is that I have a lot of interests and love to learn, so I get super excited about something for a bit and then move onto the next thing to learn. I am *slowly* working on this as I don’t want to be known as the person who can’t stick to things.
I have a slight obsession with my rabbits right now. Okay, right now probably isn’t the right phrase, but whatevs. If I could work from home and spend all day with my buns, I would. I get fixated sometimes on there being a fire in the house and not being able to get them out. If I could get some sort of bag to put one of them in and carry them with me everywhere, I would. I legitimately asked C the other day if he thought I could convince my work to let me bring one of them to work every day. And that is just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
As much as I love the outdoors, I haven’t been camping or hiking in …. Oh, about 2 or 3 years. And it bugs me to no end. I hate that I’ve gotten lazy and away from that part of my life. I LOVE being out in nature and nothing centers me and clears the fog from my brain like a good hike through the woods. This summer, that all changes. I have some plans and C is on board with getting out more.
I spent the summer living in a VW camper van one year. Yup, it was pretty awesome. That summer, I also went kayaking with whales. One day I may tell you about that trip. Since then it’s been a huge dream of mine to buy my own camper van.
I lost my mother 1 month before my high school graduation. It’s been 13 years (April 22nd), but I still miss her everyday.
Growing up, I had a problem with stealing. I used to steal money from my brother and parents all the time. I don’t mean just taking it if I came across it, but actually going and looking for money to take. I don’t ever remember getting into huge trouble for it, but I also don’t think I got caught very often. Maybe I just blocked out the punishment. Who knows. Luckily for me and everyone around me, I’ve since outgrown that compulsion.